What you find below is about holding and letting go. About expectations vs. acceptance of experience. About letting go of perfectionism. I hope you find some inspiration here. I have created the art together with my dearest friend Thomas Voll by the sea next to his house at Vesterålen. You can find him and his art here: https://www.thomasofnorway.com and https://www.hecreature.no
I also describe our special friendship a little bit more here:
“Slow discovery of the deepest truth of my heart”
Recently I feel that everything I’m doing is not meant to give direct results here and now.
That these are not instantly obvious effects.
Not for quick, without any doubt, building business, relationship, success, or marriage.
That all that I discover creatively, all internal work that I do, WILL make more sense, which will reveal itself to me one day.
That I will get to know the explanation, reason, conclusion, although sometimes I don’t see them yet.
Just like many previous decisions that were seemingly detached from reality and incomprehensible to the environment have finally been explained.
That the slow pace of these changes makes sense. Of course, sometimes I want fast and a lot and NOW (thank you world for the neoliberal myth of rapid and eternal growth).
That the psyche develops as it needs, at the pace it can at the moment.
I cannot rush some changes.
I cannot close up my fear back into the drawer and cover my pain with a bar of chocolate.
I can’t blame myself for my powerlessness in the face of this seemingly slow pace, telling myself that others don’t feel it, so there is something wrong with me.
The search for deep meaning and self-understanding is not a path from A to Z, with obvious steps and unconditional support from society.
Subsequent periods of incubation and deep introversion are the times when each slow step is important, sometimes forward, sometimes backward. Just as important as being stuck or spinning in a circle.
Slowly reaching for the deepest truth of my heart isn’t denying reality but looking for my own.
If you are reading this and you understand what I mean, please know that we are not alone, although it may seem so at times.
This text is not about there being ‘us’ and ‘them’.
Those seeking deeper or shallowly drifting.
That one is better or worse because they are more or less open to digging deeper into their experiences, slowly scratching wounds to experience the healing of scars.
If you feel that what you are doing is important to you, find people who understand it and do it.
Search, reach, slowly understand.
You will surely find such people.
You will surely understand your true self more deeply.